The Beginning
by Rogue 559
Summary: The beginning of everything...just a one off unless you people review...
1. Chapter 1

This is my first Orange County story. I'm not sure exactly when its set but the basic idea is that Marissa and Ryan haven't done anything yet, Marissa and Luke have broken up and nothing else complicated has happened yet. Its only supposed to be a one off but if anyone wants a second chapter then please review and let me know cos I'll be happy to do one. And without further ado, enjoy.   
  
***  
  
He closed the door quietly behind him, anxious not to awake anybody from upstairs. His shoes squeaked on the polished wood flooring as he crept through the hallway into the lounge. As his feet hit carpet the sounds stopped and silence filled the house. He made it to the kitchen without distractions but looked across at the fridge.   
  
'My mistake,' he muttered under his breath. He walked towards it and pulled the handle, flooding the kitchen with light as he did so. His eyes flicked from one item of food to another as he tried to work out what his stomach felt like ingesting at that time of the morning. The answer came quickly enough as he picked up some cheese and pastrami from one of the shelves and closed the fridge door with a nudge of his hip. He walked over to the bread box on the counter and pulled out a few slices of white bread. He put all the food together as quietly as possible, still afraid that someone would wake up. He wasn't used to being part of a family unit and still found it weird that someone would care if he came home late at night.  
  
As he left the kitchen he picked up his bag with one hand, the sandwich in the other. He pushed the door open and walked across the small area of paving till he reached the edge of the pool. He sunk into one of the lounge chairs and looked out at the scene laid out in front of him. The house below him looked silent, the windows were all dark and there was no sign of movement. Beyond the house and the expanse of lawn which was dark in the night atmosphere, the beach glowed silver under the moonlight and cloudless sky. Waves lapped gracefully against the shore and Ryan was almost sucked into the image of perfection that Newport and its inhabitants had worked so hard to build up. He thought his family was dysfunctional and though at the moment none of the families in Orange County could hold a candle to his problems they were still putting up a fair fight. He figured their issues seemed bigger because they had further to fall, they had so much more to lose.   
  
He leant back into the cushions of the chair and felt his muscles relax. They had been so tense that evening, or atleast the early part of it. Even when he had been relaxed later on he had still felt a certain amount of tension, like what was taking place couldn't last forever, it was too good to be true and he was scared that if he allowed himself to get too used to it it would all disappear and fall apart and he would be left with nothing.   
  
He took a bite out of the sandwich, relishing the tastes that mingled in his mouth. But nothing could beat her macaroni and cheese. He smiled. He never thought that anything so innocent could be happening to him. Not that it was innocent of course. They had both been thinking some slightly impure thoughts throughout the night but it was so much less grimy than the rest of his life. He felt like his past was something he had to wash away. He wasn't ashamed of it and he would always remember the things he had been through because they had helped him in so many ways. He wasn't a great believer in fate but it was a reasonable explanation. If he hadn't have been assigned Sandy as his public defender he would never have met Kirsten and Seth and he would never have stayed in their house and he wouldn't be living there at that exact moment, watching the sea whilst eating a sandwich in a huge back garden that was the size of his whole house back in Chino. Fate had done a lot for him over the past couple of weeks and he would always be extremely grateful.   
  
The sandwich finished and his eyelids starting to grow heavier he pushed himself off of the lounger and walked across the yard to the pool house, his own sanctuary away from the bustle of everyday life in the main building. It kept him separated from the people who had taken him in but he wasn't bothered. He had lived so long in his own little world, one he had created to get away from people like A J and his mother that he found that he needed the space, he needed to keep a little bit of his life to himself.   
  
He pushed the door open and walked in. He quietly pushed the door closed, aware that no one could really hear him but not wanting to break the silence of the night anyway. He could still smell the chlorine from the pool as he turned and walked further into the pool house. He dumped his bag on the floor and made his way over to the bed. As he lay down on it he could feel himself start to drift off. The second his head touched the pillow he was comfortable and he relished the idea that in just a few minutes he was going to be asleep.   
  
'So, you were at Marissa's?' came the voice from across the room. Ryan's eyes shot open and he sat up, looking around him as he did so. He saw Seth sitting on the couch in the corner of the room and rolled his eyes before dropping back down again.   
  
'Yeah?' he said questioningly, knowing what Seth was getting at but wanting to make him wait. He wasn't used to having people he could confide in and he still found it difficult to voice his feelings. Seth on the other hand didn't have that problem.   
  
'What happened over there? Cos you know, you've been gone for a while and its late at night and...just tell me cos until Summer realises that I'm the perfect guy for her I'm gonna have to live vicariously through your love life.' Seth looked at Ryan expectantly.   
  
Ryan smirked a little at Seth's admission and placed one of his arms beneath his head.   
  
'We talked,' he answered. He raised his eyes to look at Seth's face and saw the look of dismay on it.   
  
'You're not gonna tell me are you?' he said.   
  
Ryan shook his head and watched as Seth stood up, walked over to the pool house door and wandered back across the yard to the main building. Ryan rolled over onto his side and thought back to earlier that evening. He could have said a lot more about it but he wanted to keep what had really happened to himself.   
  
He had gone round just as the sun was setting to talk to Marissa about something. What it was wasn't important and even if it had been he wouldn't remember. But the truth was it had just been an excuse to see her anyway. He had just wanted to spend some time with her, to watch her as she moved and talked and the way she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear when she was nervous. He wanted to look into her eyes and see them looking back at him with the same desires that he felt.   
  
Kaitlin had opened the door. She was like a mini Marissa, the same delicate features reflected in the younger sister, neither of them resembling their mother in that respect. She was so much more sure of herself, so much more confident than both the girls put together. Though the fact that Kaitlin was her mothers daughter meant she was already beginning to take on some of the characteristics that Julie possessed.   
  
Ryan had been shown into the cavernous hallway of the house where he had been forced to make the usual polite chat with Julie, who, it was clear still despised him. He didn't quite know what he had done to cause her to feel such distaste everytime she saw him but he had a feeling that it wasn't anything he had done but where he had come from.   
  
Eventually Marissa had descended the stairs, an expectant look on her face, embarrassment of her mother setting in before she had even heard the thinly veiled insults thrown at Ryan and his past in Chino. Soon after that Julie, Jimmy and Kaitlin had all left the house, the two former to another one of Newport's social events, the latter to the house of one of her equally privileged friends. Marissa and Ryan had been left all alone.   
  
He remembered how awkward things had been when he had first arrived. Marissa had tucked her hair behind her ear more times than he could count and he was constantly looking anywhere but her eyes. But gradually as the evening had worn away into the dusky gloom of early nighttime they had both softened towards each other. Laughter had filled the house as they talked, all pretenses at Ryan coming round for any other reason than to see her gone from both their minds. They had talked about their respective lives, his in Chino with his alcoholic mother and her abusive boyfriend; Marissa in the wonderful world of Newport with all the attractions of dysfunctional families but without any acknowledgment of them. They had both, for once been open about their pasts. It was weird for both of them. Marissa couldn't ever say the things to Summer or Luke that she had revealed so quickly to Ryan. With him it was different, it was like there weren't any barriers between them because he saw, more so than anyone who lived there what Newport was really like. And Ryan had never talked so much in his life, not even to Seth.   
  
The next time either one of them looked outside a window they had talked for hours non-stop and it was a suprise to see the darkened sky above them. They had both stood in Marissa's garden, a light breeze with the tang of the salt from the sea floating over them for half an hour atleast, neither one of them saying a thing, neither one of them needing to. They both knew that there was something between them and they both wanted to act on it, but neither one of them was prepared to take that vital next step for fear that everything would be screwed up. It was a fear Ryan had been only too aware of ever since he had arrived in Orange County. It seemed like wherever he went he brought trouble.   
  
Eventually they had both turned at the sound of the key in the lock of the front door, signaling the arrival of Marissa's parents, home from another night of elegant Newport socialising. Marissa had led Ryan through the garden to the back entrance. They had both been eager to avoid the Coopers. They had both had quite enough polite conversation with Julie for one night and the thinly veiled barbs at Ryan occasionally hit a little too close to home. They had both had a great evening and didn't want it ruined, or for them to be brought down from their euphoric high.   
  
Ryan had walked through the gate and had turned back to say goodbye to Marissa when she had leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the mouth. It wasn't supposed to turn into anything major but the kiss had lingered slightly too long to just be between friends. As their lips parted they both looked into each others eyes, foreheads touching, both breathing in the smell of the other. Ryan remembered that Marissa had smelt fresh. She didn't smell like she had showered in perfume, like so many of the orange County women. She smelt like the air after it rained and he had drunk her in as much as he could before Marissa had heard her name being called and had been forced to turn around and run back towards the house. He had stood there, outside her gate for a few minutes while he tried to process what had just happened. Eventually he turned around and jogged home.   
  
Ryan still couldn't believe it. Marissa had kissed him and he had kissed her back. The night had been perfect and he had the distinct impression that he would be walking on air for the next few days. 


	2. Chapter 2

I'm finally back with an update. I was extremely happy to get all the reviews from so many of you. Please keep them coming and I will try and update as soon as possible.   
  
***  
  
Seth turned around as Ryan walked into the kitchen. He strolled straight over to the counter and the cereal and began pouring some out into a bowl, neatly avoiding Seth's curious gaze.   
  
'I never thought cereal was so interesting,' Seth said pointedly as Ryan refused to even consider looking up. He knew that if Seth did manage to catch Ryan's eye that he would be caught in an endless torrent of questions and he really didn't want to lay his soul bear at that moment in time. Not only was it too early but he also wanted to keep the thing with him and Marissa to himself, atleast until he worked out what was going on with them. He was confused and afraid that everything last night had been part of a dream. He could vividly remember the smells and the sights and the sounds and if it was a dream then his senses were playing an extremely cruel game with his heart.   
  
'Come on, you have to tell me something.' Seth pushed on with his line of questioning.   
  
'No, I don't,' Ryan replied, hoping that he was giving nothing away with his body language.   
  
'Something happened between you and Marissa, I can tell,' Seth continued. He reached across Ryan to grab the milk and poured some into his own bowl. He knew he could break Ryan sooner or later. His constant annoying presence would eventually lead Ryan to tell him the truth. And when that moment came Seth would be eager to listen to anything Ryan had to say, before he inevitably switched the conversation round to himself and started talking about his endless list of problems with, possibly some comic interludes.   
  
Ryan didn't reply. He didn't want to tell Seth anything, especially not over breakfast. What happened was private and Ryan had always valued that. He would tell Seth when he was good and ready and not a moment before then. And he knew that despite Seth's curiosity he understood that as well as Ryan did.   
  
'We should get going or we're gonna be late for school,' Ryan said.  
  
'You haven't finished your breakfast yet,' Seth pointed out.   
  
'I lost my appetite,' Ryan replied before placing his bowl in the sink and walking out of the room, towards the pool house to collect his stuff for school. It was still a little weird to him, getting up early, eating breakfast and then getting a ride to a building where he learnt things all day. He never would have gotten up that early back in Chino and even if he had it hadn't been for any educational purposes. It was weird but he felt a lot more secure knowing that he was doing something so normal, for a teenager atleast.   
  
He heard footsteps make their way across the backyard and rolled his eyes. He should have known Seth wouldn't give up that easily, he was like a dog with a bone.   
  
'I'm not going to tell you anything about last night, so you may as well go away,' he stated over his shoulder.   
  
'Well, then its a good thing I was there.'  
  
Ryan spun round and looked straight into the eyes he had stared into the night before. Marissa leant against the door frame of the pool house, a smile on her face which presented her amusement to him. He smiled sheepishly in reply and resumed shoving books into his rucksack.   
  
She watched him as he turned his back on her and got ready. She could have watched him for hours. The corner of her mouth lifted as she remembered the night before. She hadn't quite been able to believe it when she had leaned forward and their lips had met. She could remember the tingle that had swept its way up and down her spine. It returned everytime she thought about Ryan's mouth on hers. She could feel a warm glow rising up her neck and flushing her cheeks. She hoped her tan hid the brightness of the blush from Ryan's eyes. Marissa considered herself to be a quite open person. She talked about her feelings, if not with everyone atleast with Summer. But with Ryan it was different. It wasn't that she couldn't talk to him, the other night had proved otherwise. It was just that she couldn't talk to anyone else about him. Summer, her mother, the numerous rich Newport socialites Marissa was used to hanging out with at school, none of them would understand how she felt about him. It was different to her and Luke. He was the most popular guy in school, she was the most popular girl. They were both adored by the general population, it was only logical that they should end up going out with each other. But Marissa had never loved Luke, in fact a lot of the time he had annoyed her with his incessant macho posing. It had really been inevitable that they would break up, eventually if not sooner. They didn't have a lot in common, they didn't open up to each other at any point in the relationship. It had been pretty much a foregone conclusion.   
  
And now she was kissing the boy next door and she had no idea what to think. And there was no one she could talk to about it so blushing was about as confessional as she was going to get for a while.   
  
Ryan stood up and swung his backpack over his shoulder. He could feel her eyes on him, watching his every move. It would have been intimidating if it had been anyone else but Marissa could watch him all day and he wouldn't have minded. He turned around and their eyes met in a gaze which wouldn't have been out of place in a romantic comedy straight out of Hollywood.   
  
'We should go,' Ryan said, breaking the moment and the look as both of them blinked and looked away from the other.   
  
He walked towards the door and as he passed Marissa he breathed in her scent. She was a breath of fresh air, despite the fact that he was almost outside the building and the sea was mere minutes away. Somehow, though it seemed he was destined never to know how his legs started working again and he walked through the garden into the house. He looked across at Seth, hoping that he wouldn't start asking questions or making pointed comments again.   
  
Ryan frowned as he looked at Seth's face. He seemed a lot less at ease than he had been previously. As Ryan walked further into the kitchen he saw the reason why.   
  
'You guys don't mind if Summer comes with us do you?' came Marissa's voice from behind him.   
  
'No,' they both managed to get out before hesitation became rudeness.   
  
Summer smiled nervously. She hadn't wanted to get a lift with Cohen and Chino but she hadn't really been given a choice in the matter. Her home life sucked just enough for her to want to turn up at Marissa's house at 11.30 at night. Summer had needed to talk to Marissa, the only person who truly knew anything about her. But she had not wanted to face an entire journey to school with Cohen, who would either not speak to her for the ride out of fear or would speak so much she would desperately want to slip him some of the valium her step mother liked to take so much; and Chino, the guy who had shown up out of nowhere and had since then caused Marissa so much trouble. She breathed deeply trying unsuccessfully to wake herself up a little bit.   
  
'We should leave if we're planning on getting to school today.'  
  
***  
  
Summer pulled the dark sunglasses over her eyes. The sun shining through the back car window was way too bright for her to be able to handle at that time of the morning. Quiet music floated out of the speaker behind her head and she gave herself up to it. The strumming guitars, the beat of the drums, the gravely voice of the lead singer, all of them seemed to contribute to her mood. The act she would have to put on that day at school was going to win her Oscars. She had wanted to stay at home just so she wouldn't have to face school but she didn't even want to go back to her house.   
  
She closed her eyes and squeezed the lids hard together, trying to remove any images of the last night. Flashing spots and flickering lines appeared in the dark and she reopened her eyes, allowing the dull light to flood in.   
  
Seth glanced across at Summer. The usual insulting banter had been sorely missing from his morning. Something was definitely wrong with her but he was hardly in a position to ask about it. He and Summer had never been real enemies, let alone friends. She had never noticed him enough for their relationship to hit either of the two extremes.   
  
Ryan looked up as the school appeared on the horizon. Unfortunately the horizon wasn't that far away. Ryan still wasn't entirely used to his new routine. Getting up early in the morning, going to school, staying there all day instead of going to the first lesson and deciding it was all way too boring to hang around. It was all very new to him. He didn't know if he ever would get used to it but having people like Seth and Marissa made it a whole lot more enjoyable.   
  
Numerous cliques were hanging out inside school grounds. There were the girls who chose to wear very little, preferring to have as much skin exposed as possible so they could get the most even tan they could. The fact that that wasn't what school was for would probably never occur to them. The shouts of the soccer team practicing hard of a morning filled the air along with those of the cheerleaders, all of them screaming their lungs to pieces for the benefit of school spirit. Ryan would definitely never understand that obsession with keeping morale in high schools on an even balance. The slightly more alternative people were easily recognisable because almost all of them were hanging out as far away from the school propaganda machines as possible and all of them chose to look at people like Summer with some level of disdain, though, turning his head to look at the brunette he could see that she was so completely unfazed by it that it was almost an insult in itself.   
  
Where Ryan saw division though Marissa recognised the place she had called her second home for the past few years. She had never hated school like so many of her peers. For her it got her as far away from her mother. Her and Julie had never gotten along like Marissa and her dad. She was daddy's little girl and Julie had never been able to understand that. There would always be a rift between them and at the best of times Julie would snipe at her oldest daughter absentmindedly, not realising that she was pushing her further away. And Marissa had always been good at school. She wasn't the cleverest person in her class but she worked hard and thus it had always been relatively easy for her.   
  
As they reached the top of the steps leading to the classrooms they arrived at the point where they would all split up, atleast for the morning. Ryan and Marissa looked at each, the desire obvious beneath their cool facades.   
  
'So,' Marissa began. 'I'll see you at lunch?' she finished hopefully.   
  
'Yeah,' Ryan replied eagerly, warranting smirks from Seth and Summer. Marissa and Ryan both turned to look at Seth and Summer, making it perfectly clear that their presence was at best inappropriate at that moment. Summer rolled her eyes beneath the dark glasses and turned her back on the newly loved up couple. She leant her forearms on the balustrade. She felt him lean next to her before she turned and saw him. She wished she hadn't looked at him. Seth Cohen was an unnecessary nuisance in her life. She had to hang out with him now that Ryan and Marissa were practically joined but that didn't mean she had to enjoy spending time with the geeky best friend. She felt his eyes blazing into her cheek and without even bothering to turn to look at him she opened her mouth.   
  
'What?'   
  
Seth continued to stare at her. He wasn't sure what entranced him so much about her. There had to be something specific but he couldn't distinguish it from the general feeling of love.   
  
'Nothing,' he replied nonchalantly as he turned away.   
  
She sighed deeply before turning back towards the adoring couple. She had definitely not had enough sleep last night to even attempt to work out the baffling mind of Seth Cohen.   
  
'Coop? We gotta go if we're gonna get to class at any point today,' she called out, disturbing the earnest conversation of Ryan and Marissa.   
  
Marissa turned around to see Summer looking impatient and, looking at Ryan's face she smiled openly.   
  
'I'll see you later,' she said quietly. She knew exactly how the gossip mill worked in high school and she had absolutely no desire to fuel the rumours she knew would come in time. 


	3. Chapter 3

I'm sorry its been so long between this update and the last. I've been crazily busy with schoolwork and stuff.   
  
I just got round to watching some new episodes of The OC and there's something I think I should clear up about this story. I just watched the episode where Seth meets Summer's dad and Summer and her father are really close, like best friends. In this story they're not. He's really detached from her life. I hope that's okay and if it isn't its already written and I don't feel like changing it so tough.   
  
Thank you so much for all the reviews. I really appreciate the feedback so if there are ever any comments or criticisms or compliments I would be very pleased to hear them.   
  
***  
  
She made her way through the tables littering the patio which looked out onto Newport and all of its property. She had never really looked at the world around her, and if she had she had never really seen it the way it was. It wasn't that she was completely superficial. She thought about things. But it was only as she had gotten to know Ryan and Seth that she had fully appreciated the positive and negative aspects of her life. Their presence had brought into sharp focus the people around her. She had never realised quite how boring her friends were. Marissa was very different because she had never seemed to fit exactly. She was much too intelligent and beautiful and funny to be a real part of the Newport community. But for Summer it was all she knew. She knew she wasn't that intelligent. She wasn't stupid, and she did well at school, hence her attendance at the most prestigious high school in the area but she was hardly the cleverest girl in the world. She also knew she wasn't beautiful, atleast not in the same way as Marissa. She wasn't awful to look at, in fact she was quite the opposite. She knew she was good looking but there was something about Marissa that separated the two of them and made Marissa the first choice for any number of guys while Summer was the one they used as a back up plan.   
  
The truth was Summer had very low self esteem. She hid it well, she hid a lot of things well. Her fathers continual absence from her life; her stepmothers reliance on prescription drugs; her isolation in her own home. All of them were things hidden from the majority of the people who thought they knew her. Marissa was the only one who had any idea and even she didn't know everything.   
  
Summer lowered herself into a chair and placed her bag on the table in front of her. It was lunchtime but she didn't feel like eating. She just wanted to go to sleep. The night before she hadn't gotten much and even when she had turned up at Marissa's she had been unable to drift off. Everytime something happened at home she would go to the Cooper household, knowing that she could find some sort of sanctuary there. And everytime she would be hit by insomnia, incapable of sleeping but too exhausted to move. She would lie on the bed, staring at the ceiling, watching as the moon, if there was one made its slow leisurely way across the black sky.   
  
She looked up as she heard someone place a tray down on the table behind her, her thoughts lost to her for that moment atleast. She looked around her at all the other students congregating in the near vicinity. All of them had their own problems, she wasn't so superficial that she didn't realise that but, and this was the reason everyone thought she was such a bitch she could so easily get lost in her own that she didn't even notice theirs. She guessed that was how it was with everyone. Even the alternative kids had issues and though they would be loathe to admit it they were as self centered as she was.   
  
'You not eating anything?'  
  
She turned around quickly at the sound of the voice. When she saw the owner of it she rolled her eyes.   
  
'Does it look I'm eating anything Cohen?' she bit back.   
  
'No,' he replied.   
  
She glared at him for a second before turning back round in her chair. She could feel his eyes boring into the back of her neck but refused to even acknowledge his presence.   
  
'Are you okay?'  
  
She frowned as she tried to think of an appropriate answer, some sort of witty retort. But the question had stunned her slightly. None of her friends had asked her that question that day. None of them had even noticed that she was out of sorts. And yet she had been acting in exactly the same way towards Seth all morning. She had been snappy and bitchy and mean and she had barely acknowledged that he existed and even though that was the way she acted all the time he had still seen through it and he had still asked her that one question.   
  
Truth was she wasn't okay, she hadn't been for a long time.   
  
But she couldn't tell him that. She couldn't just lay all of her feelings on the line, especially not to Seth Cohen. She had spent so long acting like she was perfectly happy she didn't know how to do anything else.   
  
'I'm fine,' she said, a little defensively without even turning around.   
  
He continued to stare at the back of her head. He knew Summer, hell he had spent the past few years of his life getting to know her without her knowledge. It involved a lot of body language and he had become pretty good at analysing it. He knew when something was wrong, and right now she was in some serious turmoil. But if she didn't want to let him in she wouldn't and there was nothing he could do to open her up. Summer had spent the past few years of her life perfecting the art of treating him with disdain and she had become an expert at shooting him down.   
  
***  
  
Marissa walked across the grass. The world practically shone in her eyes and she knew it wasn't just because the sun was shining so brightly. She couldn't help smiling to herself as she thought of Ryan. He was gorgeous, of course he was, but she had known that since she first met him. Last night things had changed, her thoughts towards him had changed. She didn't want to over think the whole thing, she knew that was the way to ruin a perfectly good relationship but she couldn't help it. Ryan was so much more than just a guy, which was exactly what Luke had been. She had stayed with him because he provided her with some sort of security. If she stayed in the relationship she didn't have to worry about meeting new people, she didn't have to care what other guys thought of her because she had a boyfriend. It had been safe and it had been nice having someone there who would always listen to her but she wanted something more. And Ryan was the one offering that to her. With him she felt invigorated, she felt alive for what seemed like the first time in years.   
  
She looked towards the tables with numerous groups of students eating at them. Seth and Summer sitting at different tables even though they both had so much in common. Their relationship, if that's what it could be called was strange to Marissa. She knew she had never noticed Seth before and she felt sorry for that because she had been the one missing out. He was funny and intelligent and he saw things that others didn't. And Summer was funny, intelligent and equally observant but yet they never seemed to get round to talking to each other. She smiled to herself. They were so close to each other and yet so far apart because neither of them would relinquish their hold on the preconceived ideas they had of each other, Seth that Summer was some sort of Goddess, too far away for him to touch; Summer that Seth was some sort of mentally deficient loser.   
  
She felt a hand on her arm and turned to look into his eyes. She smiled in greeting and he smiled back. After a few seconds she looked around her at all the people she had temporarily forgotten were there. He let go of her arm. She frowned. Everything had seemed so simple last night. They had kissed and the rest of the world had melted away into nothing. There had been no way of pulling her back from that but she knew now that she had been naïve. There were so many things which could destroy her happiness. She knew her mother didn't like Ryan, that was clear enough but there were other kids at school. She hated that she relied on their opinions to shape her life but she did. She couldn't deny it and she didn't know why she did it. Maybe it was because she had done it for the past few years and habits were hard to get out of but she didn't think that was it. She was scared of people thinking badly of her. It was the one thing she really didn't like about herself.   
  
Ryan watched as her facial expression changed from one of happiness to self consciousness. He had always known that it would be difficult having a thing with Marissa. She had so much more to lose than him for a start. Her parents were protective over her whereas one set of parents didn't give a damn about him and the others were extremely lenient. The Cohen's pretty much left him to himself and he appreciated it. Plus there were all the people at school. He didn't care what they thought of him, he was able to handle himself but to Marissa they were her peers, her fellow students, a lot of them were her friends.   
  
'You wanna get some lunch?' he asked, as they pulled apart a little and started walking to the tables Seth and Summer were currently situated at.   
  
'I'm not that hungry,' Marissa said, her jubilation at seeing Ryan beginning to fade as reality set in. She tucked her hair behind her ear self consciously. She was suddenly acutely aware of how deeply within a dream world she had been. What an idiot she must have looked like. She ducked her head as she walked past people she didn't really want to talk to at that moment. She was already tired of the facade, she didn't want to have to keep it up for all of her friends as well as Ryan.   
  
He looked around him, watching as people passed him and as he passed them. It was hard to believe that none of them could see what was going on. He knew he wasn't that good an actor and the smile that appeared on his face and the look that appeared in his eyes were so obvious that he was amazed they couldn't see it. He wanted so much to grab her and pull her to him, he wanted to kiss her lips and feel her warmth against his body. But he knew he would give her as much time as she wanted and he would do it happily. If it meant that he could be close to her eventually he would do it with a song in his heart.   
  
He looked across at Seth. Everything seemed to be so much simpler for him. He never worried about what other people thought and he put his heart on the line at the slightest indication that he should. It was like he didn't have any concern for the consequences of his actions and that made him so much more liberated than everyone else. But the one thing he couldn't do was tell Summer how he really felt. And the one thing Ryan couldn't do was tell everyone else how he felt about Marissa. Their lives were far too complicated to be real.   
  
'Hey,' Ryan said as he approached the two tables. He frowned and looked across at Marissa. The plan had been to eat lunch together but their friends clearly had different ideas.   
  
'Hey,' Seth replied.   
  
Silence engulfed the four of them and awkwardness filled the air and made them all squirm a little.   
  
Ryan rolled his eyes in Marissa's direction and she smiled in return. Ryan pulled out a chair at Seth's table as Marissa did the same at Summer's. The silence didn't go away. 


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry its taken so long...again. Thanks so much for all the reviews. I really enjoy reading them and finding out what I'm doing wrong and what I'm doing right. So, please review this chapter once you've read it (duh) and I will try to update a little sooner this time round.   
  
Summer slid out of the car and slammed the door behind her. She looked into her own driveway and saw the complete lack of any vehicles. Clearly her father hadn't returned from his business trip and her step mother was out shopping for valium. They wouldn't be back for a while and they definitely wouldn't be worrying about her whereabouts.   
  
She turned back to look in at Marissa and saw two pairs of eyes casting curious glances at the house. She didn't want them to come in. The house would probably be a mess. Her step mother had gone a little crazy the night before, hence the trip to Marissa's house. It happened more often than people knew. Summer was living in the definition of a broken home and it wasn't something that she was keen on displaying to Marissa, let alone Seth and Ryan, two people she didn't know. She definitely didn't want to confess her deepest darkest secrets to them.   
  
'If you wanna come in, you can,' she said wearily. She was so tired that she didn't even care anymore. She didn't want to let them see the state of her home but the lack of an invite would probably provoke more of a response. And she didn't have the energy to divert their attention.   
  
She smiled at the quick responses from the two male occupants of the car as they opened and shut their doors within the space of five seconds. She walked forward, searching in her bag for her keys. After finally locating them she yanked them out and, silently praying to herself that the house didn't look like a rubbish tip she stuck the key into the lock of the front door and opened it. She looked around her. The house was suprisingly spotless and Summer released a huge sigh of relief. She walked in, her confidence rising with each step. The French windows which led onto the pristine garden were wide open, swinging slightly in the light breeze and the room smelt fresh as opposed to reeking of stale alcohol and cigarettes. The shattered glass from a vase which had been thrown against one of the walls had been cleared up and the whole room looked like a show home.   
  
'I won't be a minute,' Summer said as she walked through the room and up the stairs to the first floor. Her house had always been one thing which Summer took for granted. Her father was rich and not in the Jimmy Cooper kind of way. He was old money but had kept his finances from decreasing too much by making new money. He was an incredibly wealthy guy which went some way to explaining the numerous business trips to New York and Chicago and London and Tokyo. Summer could sometimes go weeks without seeing him and her stepmother was an all too present figure in her life, one she could easily have lived without. So Summer had never taken her family for granted. Her mother had died when she was only little and she had never really known her. She had never felt like she had missed out too much, especially not with the examples that she saw daily, people like Julie Cooper. Summer had always figured that she was better off without a real mum, atleast that was what she told people. In truth, although she couldn't admit to missing her mother that much she often thought about what her life would have been like without that person. Would she have grown up differently, become a completely different person? Or would she be the same, brought up as the daughter of rich parents who only had kids because they thought they should, to give them something to gossip abut with everyone else in the neighbourhood.   
  
Summer pushed the door open to her bedroom, her sanctuary. Inside it was fresh, the window open as wide as it would go to try and cool the atmosphere of California heat. The bed was neatly made with its crisp white sheets and the white curtains moved gently with the slight breeze which drifted off the ocean. Summer breathed in the faint smell of shower gel, perfume and the seas own brand of saltiness. The smell was a familiar one and it was a huge part of what the made the room special for Summer. She remembered the summer when both she, Marissa and Holly had decorated it. Summer had made all kinds of plans then and now they had all disappeared along with Holly's friendship. Summer may not have seemed it to the casual observer but she was fiercely loyal to her friends and Holly and Luke's relationship had caused Summer to throw all of her ideas away. She had no idea when things had become so complex but she wished for simpler times, times when she could dream about being someone she so clearly wasn't. Now she spent her whole time trying to make everyone else believe it.   
  
She slid one of her drawers open and pulled out some clothes. The previous night had been a bad one and when nights like that came along Summer prepared herself to stay away for atleast a couple of days. She shoved them into a rucksack not worried about creasing anything. She knew that Marissa would do everything in her power to make Summer feel better and even the normality of ironing might be a relief from the life she didn't want to live. She walked across the room to her dressing table and dropped moisturiser and cleanser, mascara and foundation into the bag with her clothes. She ran her hairbrush through her smooth sheath of hair before placing it on top of everything else. She slung the bag over her shoulder and walked through the doorway only to came face to face with him.   
  
'Cohen,' she said, trying to mask her suprise at seeing him. She didn't know why she should be so shocked at finding him in her house since she was the one who had invited him, but meeting him in the hallway outside her bedroom unnerved her.   
  
'Summer,' he replied, seemingly oblivious to the tension surrounding the girl in front of him.   
  
She raised her eyebrows, the old Summer, the one who didn't give a damn about anyone or anything reemerging.   
  
He stepped aside to let her past and she walked along the corridor, forcing herself not to turn around.   
  
Ryan pushed open the back door. He was amazed at how similar all the houses in Newport looked. They had all been designed by different, equally famous architects and yet they all looked almost exactly the same. They all had huge rooms, which were actually bigger than his entire house; they were all gleamingly white in the California sun; they all had perfect back gardens, with perfect flowers all year round. And the interiors of each house were all amazingly alike, no matter what kind of taste people had. Making sure everything was fashionable seemed to be more important than comfort, something he didn't think he'd ever understand.  
  
He heard the fridge door opening in the room behind him and turned around. He walked through the living room and into the enormous kitchen that looked like it belonged in a restaurant. There were all manner of utensils hanging from hooks on the wall, most of which had probably never been used. The oven was immaculate but none of it seemed to fit with Summer who seemed like the most self reliant person Ryan had ever met. She seemed so overbearingly confident and she definitely didn't look like she lived on a diet of take out.   
  
'They hire a maid,' Marissa said, almost as if she had been reading Ryan's mind. She had been watching him take it all in. The reaction was not something she encountered very often. She knew that she had a standard of living above what most people dreamed of but people in Newport didn't tend to mix with the outside world. It was like Newport was this exclusive bar with a guest list and bouncers at the door. If your name wasn't on the list you didn't get in. Ryan had, however managed to sneak in the backdoor. And he had successfully managed to turn her life upside down and inside out and then he'd shaken it up like a snow globe.   
  
'You want a drink?' she asked, looking through the contents of Summer's fridge.   
  
'Yeah,' he replied, taking a seat at the table.   
  
'There's juice, coke, water...'  
  
'Waters fine,' he replied. He wasn't a huge fan of small talk, mostly because he had never really mastered it. He was the silent type and although he knew how his inability to make conversation annoyed people it was a habit he couldn't get out of. Small talk with Marissa was especially difficult. With one word from her, no matter how trivial his heart would flip inside his chest and it wouldn't settle down till he had spent atleast half an hour out of her presence.   
  
He leant his forearms on the table, the cool of the tiles providing an antidote for the hot weather. Marissa placed a glass of water, cubes of ice floating on the surface on the table in front of him. He raised it to his lips and took a refreshing gulp. The tension between them which had appeared at school was still there, he could practically feel it pushing down on him. They avoided each others gaze, they barely said a word to each other, atleast not one that meant anything.   
  
She closed the cupboard she had taken the glasses from. She hated the complete lack of communication between her and Ryan. The thing at school had freaked both of them out. They had been so sure that they could be good together but when it had come down to it they had failed at the first hurdle.   
  
'You know I want to be with you, right?' she said, quickly as she spun around to face him. She wanted to get the conversation over as soon as possible. She didn't want anymore awkward moments between them.   
  
He looked at her in suprise. Her cheeks were flushed and the look on her face demanded an answer. Only problem was he wasn't sure what that answer was. He wanted her, of course he did. And he knew that in some part of her she wanted him. But whether she was prepared to risk everything to be with him was a different matter entirely. He had seen her face earlier that day as reality rushed in and he wasn't sure that, after her Newport upbringing she could give up the things she knew for something else.   
  
His hesitation worried her. She leant over the table and, taking his hands in her own brushed her lips against his. She drew away from him, her eyes betraying her real emotions.   
  
'I want to be with you,' she whispered, her heart pounding from her own bold actions.   
  
'I know,' he replied.   
  
'I don't care what everyone else says.'  
  
'Really?'  
  
She smiled as she leant her forehead against his and looked into his eyes.   
  
'Maybe a little, but I'm not giving you up over my own insecurities.'  
  
They moved towards each other and she could feel his warm breath on her skin. It sent thrills of excitement up and down her spine. After what seemed like eternity their lips met, harder than before. Her eyes closed and once again she was lost to the world.   
  
'We're leaving.' Summer's voice hit them like a bucket of ice water. They broke apart and looked towards the entrance. After a few seconds she appeared, striding her way straight towards the front door, oblivious to the emotions of the two other people in the room. Marissa looked apologetic as she jogged after Summer's retreating figure. Ryan ran one of his hands through his hair. He could still taste her and he smiled to himself as Seth walked into the room.   
  
'Dude, you look a little minty,' Seth said as he saw Ryan. The smile instantly disappeared from Ryan's face as he walked over to the sink and placed his and Marissa's glasses in it. He wanted to maintain some sense of cool in front of Seth, instead of looking like a lunatic.   
  
'We should get going. Summer looked pissed,' he said, hoping to divert the conversation from himself.   
  
'She's not pissed,' Seth replied, a look of knowing on his face.   
  
'Seriously?'  
  
'No, this is normal,' he said as they walked out of the door shutting it behind them. 


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, so, I know I haven't updated this story for like a year, but better late than never I guess. I don't even have an excuse for taking this long. Things just kinda got in the way and then The OC season 2 started over here and I got all inspired again. Hopefully you'll all be kind and review. I suggest you read the first four chapters again, cos, lets face it, you're all definitely gonna have forgotten what happened.

* * *

Seth looked out of his bedroom window. His ordered little world ended at the door to that room. Beyond that things tended to get a little complicated. And Seth wasn't brilliant at dealing with complicated. When he had to deal with complicated he tended to spaz out, just a little. He pushed the window open, feeling the breeze wash over him instantly. He could hear the sea from where he was and it calmed him. Not that he wasn't calm. He was just confused.

The people in his life made things more difficult. His parents were great as parents went but they lived these weird lives with a whole ton of conflict, between his dad and his grandad; between his mum and pretty much everyone. It was hard enough for him to handle the tension in his own life without handling his parents as well. And Ryan was a whole load of complex thoughts and emotions and that was without his past in Chino. But Summer was quite possibly the most bizarre. She was one of the most popular girls in school, girls wanted to be her and guys wanted to be with her. And she exuded this personality which made it hard to believe that she was anything other than the popular girl. But Summer wasn't stupid, and she thought about things, a lot. And she was forcing him to very quickly reassess his opinions of the other rich kids at school. He had always had the most enormous crush on her but it had always been a crush on the image of Summer. He had never had any idea that there were quite so many complex issues buried beneath her calm, cool exterior. He had learnt a lot today. Summer was not what she had seemed, she was troubled and she wasn't happy at home and she needed a friend more than another admirer. It was kind of momentous, he was leaving a part of his life that he had valued for so long behind him. He was moving on from the teenage obsessions that had once dictated who he was. Comic books and computer games and crushes on the hottest girl in school, all of them were part of who he had been. And although he was determined to keep going with the comic books and computer games, his crush on Summer would be one of the casualties of learning.

* * *

'Summer, you coming?' Marissa called up the stairs. She had suggested, to take Summer's mind of her family that they go to the Cohen's that night. They both needed a break from their respective families, both of them taking their toll.

'Yeah, you go over without me and I'll be there in a minute.'

'Okay,' Marissa replied to the call which floated down the stairs. 'If you're not there in five minutes I'm coming back and dragging you there myself,' she yelled as an afterthought.

Summer smiled as she walked into Marissa's room. She stepped across the carpet towards her bag and pulled out a top. She had been in and out of cars and classrooms all day and the outfit she had been wearing was beyond stinky. She pulled off her vest top and slipped a tshirt on, ruffling up her hair as she did.

She wasn't entirely sure why she was so nervous about walking down the driveway to the Cohen's house. It wasn't like she had ever cared what Seth Cohen thought of her, she hadn't ever cared about him and she was pretty sure that she had made that perfectly clear over the years. But the past day had been more enlightening than most. Cohen had stopped being Cohen and had started being Seth. He had become a real person in her eyes. It wasn't like he had been some kind of sub-human before, she had just never paid him all that much attention. That wasn't strictly true though. She had always noticed him. In the circles in which she moved and the world in which she lived he was this beacon. He was one of the only people who didn't give a damn and let everyone else know it too. He liked things because they appealed to him, not because everyone else liked them too. He was genuine, a quality seriously lacking at Harbor.

She pulled on a pair of dark blue jeans, opting for comfort over fashion. She smiled wryly. That was exactly what Seth wouldn't have done. Between fashion and comfort there was no contest and yet he still managed to look like he had got dressed with the light on. She frowned as she recognized the thoughts running through her mind. She had experienced them before but these ones were about Seth Cohen. She slumped onto the bed, deep in thought. She was having those kinds of thoughts about Seth Cohen, a guy that she claimed to despise most of the time.

'What is wrong with me?' she muttered to herself as she pulled on a pair of flip flops and grabbed her bag. She slung it over her shoulder before exiting Marissa's room.

* * *

Their eyes met across the room the instant she walked through the front door. It was like she had some kind of radar that pinpointed Ryan's location no matter where they both were, or how many people were in the room with them. She smiled as she tried her hardest to pay any attention to Kirsten and Sandy as they exchanged pleasantries with her. After a while she looked around her with a frown. Everyone else had left. She hadn't even noticed.

He watched her every movement as she walked across the floor towards him, her shoes making a noise that neither of them could hear, so lost in each other were they. He looked down as her hand grabbed his, her fingers entwining themselves around his own. She pulled him into the corner of the room, away from the entrance to the kitchen where the sounds of dinner being prepared provided a quiet hum of background noise.

She pressed her lips against his, maintaining her grip on his hand as she raised the other one to his face, brushing her fingers across his skin. She moved closer, their bodies pressing together, the embrace intense, passionate, the kiss deepening with every passing second.

Eventually they pulled apart, their breathing shaken up to say the least. He looked into her eyes from beneath his lashes. She seemed somewhat surprised at her own actions, shocked that she had taken things as far as they had gone. She smiled at him, her face relaxed, the expression open and happy.

They were both shocked out of their reverie as they heard knocking at the door and they pulled apart, Ryan regretfully leaving Marissa behind as he walked towards the front door. He opened it and looked down at Summer. She looked nervous again, like she didn't feel welcome. It was a new look but one he was getting to know. She hadn't seemed quite herself all day.

'Hey,' he said, stepping aside as she walked past him into the room.

'You have lipgloss on your mouth,' she announced, pointedly looking at Ryan and then Marissa, a knowing expression evident in her eyes. 'And, with that embarrassing revelation I'm gonna go help in the kitchen.'

She began to walk off but was intercepted by Kirsten.

'Dinners actually ready so you can all go through while I get Seth.'

'I'll go do that Mrs Cohen,' Summer offered. She wasn't quite sure what she had walked in on but she had a feeling that Ryan and Marissa were going to need a little alone time together.

'I'll leave you two to…finish…whatever,' she declared as she walked towards the stairs, taking them two at a time. She was happy for them both, they made a cute couple and they seemed really into each other, but she didn't have a boyfriend, didn't even have a nearly successful love life and seeing Ryan and Marissa all happy and in love with each other was going to make her vomit or kill them, her mood could go either way.

It was only when she reached the top of the stairs and saw the hallway spread out before her that she realised quite what she had agreed to. Fetching Seth from his room implied that she would have to be alone with him. That hadn't been part of the plan for the evening. She sighed deeply before walking forward. One of the more practical problems with her helpful suggestion was that she had absolutely no idea where Seth's room was. There were way too many doors for her to check them all, she was far too lazy for that kind of exertion of effort.

Her shoulders drooped as she walked forward, listening intently for sounds of life. Her ears pricked up at the sound of footsteps from the other side of one of the doors. She walked towards it and pressed her ear against the cool wood. Having ascertained that someone was in there she took a step back and knocked sharply.

She waited, a frown appearing on her face as nothing happened. She knocked again, to an equally dull conclusion. Her hand reached out and she grabbed the handle of the door, twisting it until she heard a satisfying click. The door swung open slowly revealing Seth's remarkably tidy room. Summer peered in. The action was two-fold. Firstly, she had to find Seth so he could eat food like everyone else (although given his beanpole physique she could easily have convinced herself that he didn't eat anything, ever); and secondly, she was really interested to see what kind of world Seth inhabited. She had known the Cohen's for years, they were a wealthy family in Newport, actively if reluctantly involved in all the social events. But Seth was somewhat of a mystery wrapped up inside a conundrum. He never attended said social events and the only time Summer saw him was at school, reading comic books like the true geek that he was. Other than that she knew nothing about him and, despite her attempts to absolve herself of her curiosity she couldn't stop wondering.

She stepped into the room slowly, everything gradually being revealed to her. Posters adorned the walls, some of them of bands she liked; there was the requisite state of the art computer; stacks of CD cases were neatly ordered into piles. As she moved in farther she took in the bed and its occupant. Lying on top of the covers, reading a book, headphones in his ears, the tinny sound of loud music becoming clear was Seth Cohen. It was the first time she had ever seen him look truly at ease. He was usually being neurotic, or overtly funny (not that she minded the humour), or Cohenish.

She watched as he turned his head towards her, the shock in his eyes at finding her in his room obvious. She waited as he pulled the headphones from his ears and switched the music off at the source.

'Summer?' he asked, confused.

'Cohen,' she answered, managing to maintain some semblance of her façade.

'What are you doing in my room?'

'I came up here to tell you that dinner's ready but I was distracted by you. Is that an actual book that you're reading? Cos I thought you were addicted to comic books in that incredibly geeky way that you have.'

He pushed himself from the bed, leaving the book behind and looked down at Summer.

'Much as I love the banter thing cos you know, that never gets old can we please head downstairs.'

'So, you do actually eat?'

'My moms cooking? Never. That stuff'll kill you. So it's a good thing we're eating take out tonight.'

She stared up at his brown eyes before raising her eyebrows and turning. She was definitely not happy about the weird feeling in the pit of her stomach.


	6. Chapter 6

I know its been like a million years since I last updated this story and that you've all definitely lost interest in how it ends. And I know that my apologies mean next to nothing but I am sorry that its taken so long. Thank you to lil elise lil for reminding me that I even had an OC story. This chapter has been on my computer for so long and I have no idea why I didn't upload it already. Anyway, better late than never right? This is the last chapter but I am gonna start working on a new OC story soon cos I have an idea thats been festering for a while. Thank you to everyone who reviewed this story...I hope it was worth the wait.

* * *

He immersed his hands in the piping hot soapy water. Various items of cutlery clanked against each other as his hands moved through them. He would never understand the purpose of owning a dishwasher when some things couldn't be placed in it. If everything was dishwasher proof his life would be so much easier. He leaned his hips against the counter in front of him as he proceeded to wash the odd utensils.

Next to him Ryan leaned over, placing another dirty plate in the dishwasher. He was extremely aware of the fact that standing on the other side of the counter was Marissa, watching his every move. He could feel her eyes glancing over his back, taking in his movements. He could feel his arms begin to lose all control and he started to worry about holding, and more importantly dropping breakable things. As sad as it may have been he didn't want to start smashing up the Cohen's house in front of Marissa, the girl that he was increasingly falling for. The kiss earlier was still on his mind, still making his senses tingle.

Summer leaned her elbows on the counter in front of her. She could practically hear herself purring in satisfaction. She had been nervous before showing up on the front door step but once inside everything had suddenly seemed clearer. The Cohen's were a proper family unit, albeit one that had only recently adopted a seventeen year old boy straight from a juvenile detention centre. Summer had needed the family thing to make her feel at ease. It was the way Kirsten and Sandy would kiss for no apparent reason other than that they really loved each other, the constant banter between Seth and…everyone. They all just kinda fitted together. Summer had lost that a long time ago and she missed it more than she knew. She watched as Ryan and Seth cleaned up. Ordinarily she would have slit her own wrists for thinking such a thing but Seth was not looking entirely wrong. Maybe it was her newfound perspective, having seen him with his family but she was actually considering him in that way.

Marissa's eyes traced his every movement, thinking over the last few times they had met. Ryan was hot, there was no denying that but she had kissed hot guys before. This was different, there was something about their relationship that was slowly dragging her further in. They connected on an entirely new level for her, everything was more intense and so much more fulfilling. He made her feel happy in her own skin, a feeling that came rarely. But she was still unsure as to whether they could go there or not. School was complicated enough as it was with Luke and the countless cliques. She didn't really want them all as her friends but she didn't want to become another victim of the social scene at Harbor.

'You guys need any help?' Marissa asked, hoping that doing something, anything would distract her from Ryan.

'I really love how you offer only when we're finished,' Seth replied, nudging the dishwasher door closed with his foot.

'If you wanted any help you could have asked,' she replied, looking at Seth and Ryan with a smirk on her face.

'And let me guess, you would have been only too happy.'

'Of course.'

* * *

The grass whispered gently in the light warm breeze, the water lapping against the edge of the pool. The lights shining through the windows of the house cast long shadows across the ground, flickering occasionally with the swaying of curtains and moving figures as they walked from room to room.

Summer brushed stray strands of mahogany coloured hair off her face, away from her closed eyes before lowering her arm to the ground next to her. It was cold underneath her, the occasional shoot of grass tickling against her neck. She could feel the night working around her, the occasional sound of birds flapping overhead, crickets chirruping. She loved the tranquillity that came with the dark. Somewhere a party would be taking place, teenagers drinking and dancing, smoking, some of them taking drugs. She lived that life but ever since Ryan had arrived from Chino she had felt detached from that world. It wasn't that she didn't still like going out but it had seemed less important than it had once been.

She heard the noises from inside the house, computer game sounds, talking, laughter increase in volume before the back door clicked closed. She knew he was watching her, could feel his eyes on her. She didn't know why but she felt nervous, like she was being judged. After a pause she heard his feet padding their way across the garden towards her. Nonchalance was a difficult act to keep up but she managed it somehow.

'Summer Roberts, are you actually lying on the ground?'

She rolled her eyes, trying to maintain a straight face as he sat down next to her.

'Occasionally I like to lower myself to this level, that way I can actually see you,' she replied, looking up at his face. 'Hey Cohen, how do you feel about moving your huge head. You're ruining my view.'

He frowned at her insistence before sitting down on the ground next to her. Placing his hands behind his head and lowering his back so that he was lying flat on the grass he saw what she was talking about. One of the benefits of living in Newport, and there were few as far as Seth was concerned was the lack of orange sky at night. The area wasn't the most populated in the world and, as a result the glow of street lights didn't affect the deep black of the sky.

She kept on staring at the heavens, refusing to even acknowledge his presence. She had no idea what was going on in her head but she didn't like it. It felt like she was helpless and she had always vowed that that was one thing she wouldn't be. She had completely lost control of her home life a long time ago and she seriously doubted that she would ever get it back but the rest of her world she could at least try to steer in some direction. But with the appearance of Cohen in her life all that had been shaken upside down and now she wasn't even sure if control was such a good thing to have.

'What's going on with you?' he asked, his voice loud in the relative quiet.

'Other than being in such close proximity to you? Nothing,' she replied, smirking.

'If you hate being near me so much then why come over for dinner?'

It was a complicated question simply put. And she didn't have an answer for it, at least not one that she wanted to say out loud.

'Maybe its because you don't despise me quite as much as you make out?' Seth answered for her, sitting up as he did so, suddenly filled with the desire to see her face, to know what her reaction would be to his statement.

Summer sat up, turning her face away from him as she tried to quell the butterflies in her stomach. She turned to face him, her face once again regaining its composure.

'You know if you've run out of your medication, Cohen I can grab some from my house, I'm sure the step monster won't mind.'

'The snappy retorts are there but I'm just not feeling the power behind them, not like I used to.'

She stood up from the grass, her eyes flashing at him as he joined her. She looked up at him for a beat before hitting him on the arm, the look of pain that flashed across his face making her feel sadistically satisfied; the look of amusement at her outburst that followed it making her want to hit him again.

She turned and walked off across the garden, hoping that he wouldn't follow her so she could recover from their conversation. She really hoped but was starting to reluctantly believe that she might be falling for Seth Cohen. And it was making her confused and causing her to question all of her opinions about him. And she wanted to hit him again.

She rounded the corner of the house, the stunning panoramic view of the ocean straight in front of her, the smell of salt and night primrose filling the air. She leant back against the wall, the stone cool against her arms and fought the urge to run back to Marissa's house and hide under her bed.

'Summer?'

'Go away, Cohen,' she bit out.

He stared at her, his eyes tracing every contour of her face, watching, trying to gage her mood, her state of mind. But it was a mess of emotion covered by an unconvincing mask. He stepped forward, the scent of her perfume catching in his nose. He could barely see her face in the darkness, away from the lights of the house but he could still make it out in the gloom. He could have drawn her face perfectly from memory if he had to.

She stared straight ahead, hyper aware of his presence next to her. She wanted him to go, needed a few moments alone but knew that she would miss him if he did actually leave.

'I think I'm gonna kiss you.'

She turned to face him, a frown deeply pronounced on her face.

'What?' she asked, her voice a few octaves higher than it usually was.

'What?' Seth replied, looking anywhere but her eyes, only just realising that he had said something.

After a short pause of them both looking around helplessly, trying to find a way out of the conversation Summer walked away, her face still a picture of confusion, her thoughts in chaos, half of her wishing he had never opened his big mouth, the other half really wishing he had followed through with his declaration.

* * *

'What do you think they're talking about?'

'The reasons for and against stem cell research.'

She looked across at Ryan's face, watching with an amused smile as he tried to keep a straight face. Under her continued scrutiny he broke and they both laughed, breaking the atmosphere of comfortable quiet. She didn't know how long they had been sitting there and it really didn't bother her. It could never be too long.

He looked across the garden, watching silently as Summer, followed a few seconds later by Seth strode across the lawn, descending the steps and entering the house. They both looked flustered, Summer's cheeks flushed with a glow, he couldn't tell if it came from embarrassment or excitement. Her eyes were difficult to read as well, something he had never really come to expect from Summer. She was constantly surprising him.

'Coop, we should get going,' she said, standing right in front of them, the request phrased more like a desperate demand.

Seth walked up behind her, his face a little less difficult to read. Something had happened between him and Summer. And Ryan would hear the story at least fifteen times before he got to sleep that night. Another seventeen in the morning before he was really awake. And Seth would continue to rehash it until school and teachers prevented him. And even then, Ryan wasn't so sure he'd stop.

She stood up from the couch, regret sweeping over her. She liked hanging out with Ryan. It was easy and it never felt awkward. They could talk about all manner of things, the kind of things she only ever told to Summer. It was weird because she had never trusted a boy like that before. And now, she was telling her life story, piece by piece to a guy who epitomised the strong and silent type, a guy she hadn't even known a few weeks ago. It was weird. In a good way.

They all made their way to the front door, silence capturing them all, no one wanting to break it.

Summer opened the door, pulling it towards her, not sure if she wanted to change what had happened that night. She knew she couldn't, Cohen had told her how he felt and that was that. It was done. It would take a little getting used to but Summer was becoming increasingly more convinced of the fact that she would get used to it, that she wanted to.

Marissa and Summer stepped out into the night air, Ryan and Seth following them to say their goodnights.

'See you guys at school tomorrow,' Marissa said, turning, her eyes, not for the first time locking with Ryan's. She smiled, leaning forward and placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. She felt Summer's hand wrap around her own, propelling her down the steps and away from the house. She turned, enjoying the feel of Ryan's gaze on her back.

Summer looked over her shoulder as she walked away. She smiled at him, a small but distinct gesture of how she felt. He smiled back before she turned, elbowing Marissa lightly in the ribs after a small pause of silence.

'What?'

'So, you and Ryan huh?'

* * *

Ryan looked into the illuminated world of the refrigerator. His eyes searched through various food items before landing on the cheese and pastrami. He pulled it out and walked over to the bread bin. He found a bagel and proceeded to make himself his second post midnight sandwich in as many days. Seth had not stopped talking, as Ryan had predicted for a good few hours and Ryan was now completely ready to sleep. He tidied everything away before stepping out of the building and taking the familiar walk across the garden to his room. He opened the door, closing it behind him, pulling the blinds down and turning out the light. The garden was swallowed by the darkness, another day ending in Orange County, one due to begin in just a few hours. 


End file.
